Chapter 6 - Rejection

Rejection is probably the most painful of human emotions.  Even mourning the death of a loved one is strongly influenced by our sense of rejection.  Human beings in spite of our sense of self and individual personalities find ourselves longing for acceptance and respect.  The need to be loved is oundational for everyone, in every culture, time and place. Consequently we often agonize over our self-image and our need to fit in.  We certainly know all too well the life-long negative consequences of bullying and rejection in the development of children.

In this chapter of Jesus a Pilgrimage Fr Martin uses one of the more dramatic scenes in Luke’s Gospel to focus on this problem of rejection and our need for approval from others.  While in Nazareth, Jesus reads from the Prophet Isaiah and proclaims that the ancient prophesies about the Messiah point to himself.  Not only his claim but he himself are roundly rejected by those who knew him best in his home village.  Fr Martin uses this scene to discuss in some depth both Jesus’ likely feelings and Fr Martin’s own struggles with the need to please others and avoid the pain of rejection.  He recounts his long struggle with the fear of rejection in relation to Jesus’ human and divine nature.  

When we fail to claim our identity in God and feel that the value of our self is determined by the acceptance and approval of others we are imprisoned and unable to be fully alive.  We become paralyzed and unable to do what God has planned for us.  Fr. Martin tells us that “Jesus didn’t need to be liked”, and that this was liberating for him. “Jesus’s freedom sprang from an unwillingness to let other people’s opinions determine his actions.” He was able to preach the Kingdom of God in spite of negative comments from the people he encountered.  At the same time Fr. Martin also reminds us that maintaining a strong sense of self and seeking the advice and family and friends and “the wisdom of the community” is a delicate balance that requires prayer and prudence.

I expect that our readers will find some very useful insights on our need for the approval of others and the compromises one makes when we allow others to define our value.  Here again reflecting on the life of Jesus can show us the way to freedom.

Questions to Ponder:



How has our need for approval compromised our witness to the truth of Christian moral principles in our family relations? At work? In school?  

Have you ever felt imprisoned and paralyzed when you needed to take some specific action because of “what the neighbor’s would think”? What negative consequences came your way by your inaction? 

As our culture becomes more hardened and intolerant towards people who try to live their Christian faith in public are you prepared to withstand the inevitable rejection that will come your way? How so?

Deacon Mike McKenna

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